I’m fairly certain I can vouch for 99% of all women when I say that the majority of their bleeding life they have seen it as dirty, taboo and not to be spoken about. It doesn’t feel safe to allow yourself to rest when your body is screaming at you to do just that. It doesn’t safe okay to talk about your discomfort (whatever that may feel like for you).
Lucy Peach, the author of ‘The Period Queen’, says that men are like the sun and women are like the moon. Men rise and set the same every night. Whereas women are cyclical beings, changing throughout a 28 day cycle (give or take).
We live in a mans world and to show signs of weakness is to been seen as not good enough. We are expected to get up every day and behave the same (whether we feel the same or not). We are expected to be able to work productively to a full potential every day; we are expected to ignore our bodies callings and push through with resounding grit.
We are expected to have hormonal birth control from a teenager so that we don’t get pregnant. I wonder if you were ever told the side effects of this? After a brief google search I found that Royal Womens Hospital identify that for hormonal contraception the side effects can include (but likely not limited to) weight gain, skin conditions, mood changes including an increased risk of depression. The NHS identified that hormonal contraception can increase your risk of cancer, particularly breast cancer. I was never told of this when I started oral contraception at the age of 16.
These contraceptions work in various ways. However the general idea is that they stop you from ovulating. They suppress your natural cyclical hormones, so that you can be more like a sun, not the beautiful moon. I wonder if you’ve ever pondered upon the cultural acceptance of women suppressing their cycles so that they don’t get pregnant when the truth is that we are fertile for a maximum of five days in the month. Men are fertile all the time. Let that sink in.
Now, the best part. Getting to know your cycle. I’m not claiming to be an expert here. I am merely starting my learning journey too. This information comes from the website ‘My Bleeding Days’. Check it out. And Lucy Peaches, author of 'Period Queen', she's fabulous too.
There are four phases of the female menstrual cycle. Some call it Dream, Do, Give and Take. Or maybe the seasons sit better with you; Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn.
The Dream (Winter) phase is from the first day of your bleed (menstruation/period) to the last day of your bleed. This is the first day of your new cycle. Here your hormones are at their lowest. You feel tired, less focused on the every day tasks. This does not have to be seen as a weakness. This is your opportunity to rest (when you can) and reflect upon the cycle that has been and the cycle that has just begun. May you can use this time to plan the cycle ahead. This is the perfect time for journalling. It’s not easy to rest (remember, our culture values productivity and believes that rest must be earned), I get it. But it doesn’t have to mean you have to sit on the couch all day and do nothing. It could be as simple as saying no to playing actively with the kids. Or asking someone (a loving partner) to hang the washing out or cook dinner on day 1 and 2.
The Do phase (Spring) may be one of your favourites. From approximately day 6 to 13 (in a 28 day cycle), this phase is where your hormones and energy starts to rise as your body prepares for ovulation. You may feel creative and capable of taking on the world. This is the time to start new projects and engage in activities that require higher mental focus and attention. You may feel like you have more energy and tolerance for exercise and more interest to try something new. Now is the best time to do it.
Give phase (Summer) ranges from approximately day 14 to 20. This is ovulation week. This is the week where your hormones are at their highest. Even your testosterone rises this week resulting in an increased libido and confidence. This is the perfect time for socializing and advocating for yourself. Your cognitive abilities are also heightened. You may feel better able to concentrate on things and better able to find the words you seek. This is the time to tackle difficult conversations and complex tasks.
Take phase (Autumn) is from day 21 until the day before you bleed. Hormones change again and start to taper off, preparing for the Dream phase. Most people identify this phase negatively as the PMS stage. You may feel your energy levels drop dramatically, mood fluctuations and feeling more sensitive to everything. These changes are not to be seen as bad, they are normal female functioning. They unleash the thoughts and feelings that you may have been holding on to throughout the month. This week you will be great at speaking your mind and freeing your body of the held emotions. This phase is also great for finishing off that project that you started in the Do phase.
There it is. The information that you were likely never given as a teenager, the time when you truly needed it. But it’s never too late to change.
I purchased a special ring from ‘My Bleeding Days’ that I will wear at the end of my take phase and during my bleed so that people know where I’m at. And if they don’t know what it is, maybe they will ask about it and I will happily share its purpose.
Lets change the narrative. Lets embrace our cycles and live to our full potential as nature intended. Lets bring back of feminine power!
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